...: ThEsE wOrDs ArE mY oWn :...

11:15AM

<font= comic sans ms>

ImPoRtAnT dAtEs CoMiNg uP:
   ToMoRrOw/SatUrDaY -- OrIeNtAtIoN @ UVA-WiSe
   JuLy 17- CoTy'S bIrThDaY
   JuLy 20- LeAvE fOr ThE bEaCh
   AuGuSt 2- ShAnE's 19th BiRtHdAy!
   AuGuSt 18 - MoVe In DaY!
   AuGuSt 25 - My SiStEr'S fIrSt VaRsItY fOoTbaLL gAmE aS a ChEeRlEaDeR!
   AuGuSt 26 - JuLiE tUrnS 21!!   
   AuGuSt 27- I tUrN 18!!
   

-- GoT a NeW ceLL pHoNe nUmBeR -- 423-292-9134 --
          
       CaLL mE iF aNyOnE wAnTs To GeT tOgEtHeR beFoRe SuMmEr EnDs*

8:13PM - -Summer*

Hey... well i decided that i would sit down and update this thing. It's a little more than 3 weeks before we walk across that gym floor and get our diplomas and be declared Graduates ... and the Class of 2006. Today we got our announcements.. *after waiting forever for them* ... during English we got a call that they were in and we all went to get them... As i walked back down the hall taking in the fact that i held my announcements in my hand... i got a little weird. I suddenly realized -> this is it... there's no turning back. I'm leaving Castlewood High School to never return again as a student. I'm never going to walk back in a classroom to take the seat and begin working. I'll attend all events as alumni ... not a student... I have to say ... i never thought graduating would feel like this. I'm happy... but i'm sad too. Our class has just really come together these past few months and saying goodbye to them ... it just kind of breaks my heart. I have made so many friends at Cwood and it just kind of makes you realize how many true friends you have when one of them comes up to you and says "how many days you got" and when you tell them about four ... you can just see it that they about wanna cry... and not only does it touch your heart... but you realize just how close you and them are.

I had a nice little conversation with Coach Sparks today. Good ol' Jarred. That's one teacher i can say i'll miss terribly. He gave me some advice today about me pursuing a degree dealing with Special Education. Paperwork ... that's one thing that's going to be hectic. I told him that i was gonna take his job and i got the "you can have it speech" ... hehe* ... I love the ol' hottie!! ... hehe* ...

Everyday that passes i miss talking to a certain person... yeah i'm going to go a head and just put it out there. I miss talking to Coty. I miss the way things used to be and even thought i've moved on... there's times that i pass him in the hall and i get that look that i know the meaning of and its just like ... i wanna go back to July. I wanna be the way we used to be. -With graduation just around the corner... i think about how he hated that i graduate this year and how he was afraid ... afraid that our relationship would just end once I got that diploma ...... how he was afraid that i would forget him when i started classes out at Wise. ... shew~ i just wanna talk to that boy.....

I went to Twin Springs tonite to take Steph to cheerleading tryouts and stuff. The Varsity girls had a game and i caught myself watching that game. I realized too how i missed those girls ... even the ones i hated. I talked to Heather and Vicki and Mamaw Jo and Pam ... and i got to see Tig ... I can't get over the fact that she's going to have a baby... it's just so sweet. Daniel and Tig came down to my house and i gave them their grad. announcement and picture and D gave me my speech on "driving fast" and how i was gonna get myself killed if i didn't slow down ... awwies* .. hehe ... D's been an EMT for a while and he told me that he didn't wanna be the one to pick me up off the road when i wrecked because of the way i drive... 

-Shewies... well this is enough of an update* ...

*Leave em*

Jeanna Hope

Current mood: calm

Current music: .:. Savin Me ~ Nickelback*

10:51PM

-What i really meant to say is i'm dying here inside
and i miss you more each day ... 
there's not a night i haven't cried...
and baby here's the truth ...
I'm still in love with you ... 
yeah... that's what i really meant to say.

You tell me your in love with me
That you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
Its not that i don't wanna stay
But everytime you come to close i move away
I wanna belive in everything that you say
cause it sounds so good but if you really want me
move slow... there's things about me you just have to know...

You've got to understand it's a hard life 
that i'm going through
And when the night falls in around me
I don't think i'll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way...
... cause all i think about is you....

If you go ... Go all the way... Don't look back
In my heart you've been gone so long that i won't miss you that bad
if you go... Go all the way ... Don't look back

I know you need to go...
but before you do...
I want you to know....
That i wish you the best 
and i wish you nothing less that 
everything you've ever dreamed of... 
and i hope that you find love along the way
but most of all:
.........I WISH YOU STAY

MIss me Baby....
when you hear our favorite song
MIss me baby
When you start to sing along... 
think about all the times we danced in the light
 to it all night long
Then miss me baby
and want me honey...
like you did the night you told me that you loved me....
Miss Me Baby...

Been trying so hard just to talk to you
haven't heard half of what you want me too
Hurts so bad over where we've been 
don't know how not to go back there again
I know what i wanna say
but can i get it through to you in some other way
Like there was this woman and there was this man 
and there was this moment they had a chance to hold on to what they had
How can they be so in love but still never see ....
Now nothing can be sadder than this woman and this man...

.Have i told you how good it feels to be me when i'm in you?
I can only stay clean when you are around... don't let me fall
If i close my eyes forever... would it ease the pain... could i breathe again...
maybe i'm addicted... i'm out of control.. your the drug that keeps me from dying...
maybe i'm a liar... but all i really know is your the only reason i'm trying....
Have i wasted away... made a million mistakes ... am i too late>
there's a storm in my bed... and erase on my bed when your not here...
I'm not afraid of Dying... but i am afraid of losing you!!

-Depressed tonite... 
 .... LONG STORY!!!!


.:. Jeanna Hope*

Current mood: intimidated

Current music: .AdDiCtEd ... EnRiqUe*

6:02PM - +*+ * PrOm 2oo6* +*+

WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHY, WHEN

T.h.e. W.h.o.s

Who is in the house with you? my sister ...
Who was the last person to IM you? Melissa
Who are you thinking about now? Charlie... and what exactly he meant by DAmn!
Who did you last talk to on the phone? My Granny
who did you last kiss? Charlie
Who's house did you last go to? my own*
Who's birthday is next? My sister's ... its friday.. who would have thought she's gonna be 14??
Who was the last person you told you love them? mY mom
Who's your favorite relative? My mother...
Who do you hope will take this survey? Doesn't matter*

T.h.e. W.h.e.r.e.s.
Where do you live? Dungannon*
Where is your phone?  by  my tv.
Where are your parents? mom's gone to Castlewood... and dad ... well i would guess Nana's on the couch*
Where do you sleep? in my bed..
Where do you shop the most? Wal-Mart.. if they don't have it ... i don't need it!!
Where did you get the shirt you're wearing? Washington D.C. ...@  the Hard Rock Cafe
Where did you last take a car ride to? To get Steph at Twin Springs from Cheerleading practice*
Where in your house are you? My bedroom

T.h.e. W.h.a.t.s
What was the last thing you ate? Baked Lays Potatoe Chips
What was the last thing you drank?  Mt. Dew
What color pants are you wearing? Jeans*
What kind of cell phone do you have? Cingular
What is the closest item near you that is blue? my shirt and jeans are blue
What are you wearing on your feet? barefoot*
What instant messaging service do you use? Aim & ICQ
What is your favorite color? Pink ... Blue... Lime Green
What is your screen namE? jeanna4ut
What is your most used away message? ArOuNd ... LeAvE eM*
What is your favorite shoe brand? Timberlands*
What is the last movie watched? Scary Movie 4 ... and it was horrible*
What song are you currently listenin to? Cable Car (Over my head) by the Fray...  i love this song!!

T.h.e. W.h.y.s
Why are you taking this survey? im bored
Why are (some) guys jerks? well not all of them are* ...
Why did you take this particular survey? i've seen it on everybody's journal*

T.h.e. W.h.e.n.s
When is your birthday? August 27th ... will be 18!!
When did you last go to the mall?  Friday ... to pick up Kim's dress for Prom with her*
When did you last buy a new pair of pants? like 2 weeks ago* ...
When did you last burn a candle?  been a while*
When did you last see your dad? Sunday...
When did you last see your mom? like 20 minutes ago.
*******************************************************************************************************
 A-Z

A - Available:  Yeah*
A - Age: 17
A - Annoyance:  not getting my way...

B - Best Friend: Shawn* Chad* Mizzle* and Cheryl
B - Birthday: August 27

C - Crush: Charlie...
C - Car: Mercury Mystique.. BLAH!
C - Cat:  NONE!!

D - Dead Pets Name: gosh* ... there's so many* 
D - Dads Name: Bill
D - Dogs: Hitler ... haha* ... it's a poodle* 

E - Easiest person to talk to: Shawn ...
E - Eggs: scrambled*
E - Email: hope4ut!@yahoo.com

F - Favorite color: pink
F - Food: chicken
F - Foreign Slang: ... hmm* 

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Bears*
G - God: only the best ever!!
G - Good Times: make the bad times go away!...

H - Hair Color: blonde/brown
H - Height: 5'7
H - Happy: when i find out that i'm going to be okay!... 

I - Ice Cream: vanilla
I - Idol: Jesse*
I - In school?: yeah.. SENIOR!!

J - Jewelry: watch* ... class ring... and earrings* 

J - Job: -haha*
J - Jokes: always makes me laugh!

K - Kids: want 2
K - Karate:  no
K - Kung fu: no

L - Longest Car Ride: the one to the beach* ... every year!...
L - Longest relationship: a little longer than 8 months
L - Last Kiss: April 12... Charlie Oaks* ... aaww*

M - Milk Flavor: umm.. Strawberry*
M - Mothers Name: Barbara*
M - Movie Last Watched: Scary Movie 4

N - Number of Siblings: 2 step brothers... 1 step sister...
N - Northern or Southern: Southern
N - Name: Jeanna Hope Finch*

O - One Wish: my test come back great!!
O - One Phobia: Insects of any king..
O - Otter Pop: ??

P - Parents: shew... sometimes they can be a pain in the ass ... but i love em*
P - Part of your appearance you like best:: my eyes*
P - Part of your personality you like best:  I'm not afraid to tell you how it is....

Q - Quote: "Oh My Gosh*
Q - Question for the next person? -> "Umm... so?"
Q - Quick or Slow?:....s... l... o...w

R - Reality TV Show:  One Tree Hill ... i loved it*!
R - Right or Left: right
R - Right now: at home

S - Song Last Heard: Cable Car (Over my head) ... The Fray
S - Season: spring
S - Sport: Softball and Basketball

T - Time you woke up: 7 this morning*
T - Time Now: 6:20 p.m.
T - Time for bed: around 10 or 11

U - Unknown Fact about me: i'm shy till I get to know u...
U - Unicorns: never liked them....
U- u are: waiting on Charlie ...

V - Vegetable you hate: Cauliflower
V - Vegetable you love?: potatoes
V - Voice: my own*

W- Worst Habits: biting my nails 
W- Where are you going to travel next?prob to school in the morning*!
W- Where were you born?: holston valley

X - X-Rays: oh lordy... what haven't i had x-rayed!!
X - Xylaphone: nope..
X - X: ewww

Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow: is fun!

Z - Zoo Animal: monkey
Z - Zodiac: Virgo*
Z - Zoolander: never seen it...
******************************************************************************************************************

This past weekend was our Prom... our final one... and everything was supposed to be GREAT... well it sure as heck got out to a rocky beginning... I was standing over next to Amber Porter (my best friend) and the next thing i know ... like i got really dizzy and i couldn't hear anything ... and then i was on the ground ... I colapsed ... Dunno why... It was the most embarassing thing... I was just like "oh my god" ... well about 15 minutes later i finally felt fine enough to stand up and go on into the Martha Washington Inn... so i did get to enjoy prom a little bit ... and i got my dance i wanted ... me and good ol' Wes* ... He's such a cutie* ... We talked while we were dancing and it was just "great" ... I love Wes to death and i'm glad i went to Prom now ... haha* ... but ne ways ... like they played our song from the Junior Prom ... and like all the Seniors bout cried... It was like it hit home that we were at our last dance ... our last Prom ... and there is no coming back ... :( ... yeah* we had us a little crying show.. It was really emotional ... I left Abington about 11 .. and headed home ... i felt horrible and i wasn't going to any after prom parties... haha* ... so i came home and went right to bed after telling mom i passed out ...  ... wasn't much of a weekend either cause i was so sick and slept pretty much the entire 3 days...

GrAdUaTiOn is MaY 28tH at 2:00 p.M. ~ CaStLeWoOd HiGh ScHooL ... 

-Welp, that's all for an update* ... 

*Jeanna Hope*

Current mood: sick

Current music: -FaR aWaY * NiCkElBaCk*

10:50PM - .LaSt NiGhT* ... wAs GrEaT.

ShE's FaLLiNg In LoVe WiTh ThE bOy*
    ... YoUr KiSs, ThAt LoOk, ThOsE LiPs, tHeM eYeS ~ gOt Me WaNtInG mOre!
                                          



♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

10:48AM - *.* WiSh YoU WeRe HeRe *.*

They kissed goodbye at the terminal gate
She said, "You're gonna be late if you don't go."
He held her tight, said, "I'll be alright
I'll call you tonight to let you know."
He bought a postcard, on the front it just said Heaven
With a picture of the ocean and the beach
And the simple words he wrote her
Said he loved her and they told her
How he'd hold her if his arms would reach.

Wish you were here, wish you could see this place
Wish you were near, I wish I could touch your face
The weather's nice, it's paradise
It's summertime all year and there's some folks we know
They say, "Hello", I miss you so, wish you were here.

She got a call that night but it wasn't from him
It didn't sink in right away, ma'am the plane went down
Our crews have searched the ground
No survivors found she heard him say
But somehow she got a postcard in the mail
That just said Heaven with a picture of the ocean and the beach
And the simple words he wrote her
Said he loves and they told her
How he'd hold her if his arms would reach.

Wish you were here, wish you could see this place
Wish you were near, I wish I could touch your face
The weather's nice, it's paradise
It's summertime all year and there's some folks we know
They say, "Hello" I miss you so, wish you were here.

The weather's nice, in paradise
It's summertime all year and all the folks we know
They say, "Hello" I miss you so, wish you were here
Wish you were here.


 It still doesn't seem like you've already taken your last breath and you've got your wings and your flying around up there in heaven watching down on all of
down here... At first i thought it wasn't fair for us to lose you but God's assured me you're in a much better place ... free of pain... Every day it seems like i
see something that reminds me of you... I laugh everytime i go through Pal's and get tea ... it's little things like that that i really really miss. I miss seeing you and that
goofy but cute little smile of yours... I miss all those times hearing that sound of your truck and seeing you and Kelly leaving... It's been hard on her Justin... 
she really loved you... and I know that you two were working things out and you were happy.... I wish we could have taken all those pictures at Prom this year...
I got out some old yearbooks yesterday ... and the words your wrote in them all ... I miss the days we used to see each other every day... I miss you so much Pee-Wee.
I love you and I miss you ....
 We all do.
(you'll always be our little pee-wee)

Current mood: hopeful

11:02PM - .:. + TiMe To VeNt +.:.

Shew... I'm ready to s.c.r.e.a.m .... I feel like such a waste ... Dustin's pissed off at me tonite because i told him that i would come and see him then backed out of it ... I'm just scared to get close to another guy ... Josh ruined me ... I'm terrified of getting close to someone again because that thought that i'm going to have a girl come up to me  and she's going to tell me that she's been talking to him and if i've seen him ... yeah i saw him like two days before she came up to me... -god... i need to let go of the past....-

Work has literally kicked my ass this week... 30 hours when i'm used to like 10 ... I guess that's what i get when i told them to schedule me for every day possible ... Tuesday night everything went all to (you know where) ... everybody was pissed off and we all just kind of got into this big arguement and Leah leaves.. .then i walk out ... it was just so much d.r.a.m.a ....

Tonight when i was in Gate City ... I realized just how much i miss all my old friends.... I mean i have grown so far apart from these people that it's sad. I miss Heather ... I miss Raysha... I miss hanging out with these girls ... we never had a dull moment... We were so close at one point and time... and then it just gradually disappeared... we all found new lives.. new things that we got into... Heather is engaged .... I don't see her any more ... the last time we hung out we went shopping and had a blast... I thought maybe we'd start hanging out again...  but No... we've just gotten further and further apart... it's like i dont exist to her anymore... and as far as Raysha... i've seen her a couple times and we haven't spoken the first time... i guess we're just two different people ... and time has changed us.... We used to have the greatest times together... always had something to talk about ... but now it's like we've never been acquanted before...

I miss Kim ...there's so much i wanna say to her but can't find the right words... I love this girl... she was my rock through so much ... the first one i called crying to when me and Coty broke up ... the first one who came running after my car wreck ... none of the others were to be found... Kim was my best friend .... the 1st friend i made at Castlewood when i moved... and god knows i miss her...

I miss all my older friends... like Cheryl... she's in Roanoke... i never see her anymore... even when she's home and i live like 5 min from her... There has been times that i couldn't have made it without her... She's one of my best friends... I don't see her or hear from her as much as i wish i did... but i know she's there... if i needed her... I'm so proud of her... and happy for her too... I just miss her so much!!

.... Jasmine ~ girl if you need me ... call me! ... *love you*

*Welp... it's midnight... and i gotta work tomorrow...

G'Nite*
          ♥Jeanna Hope*

Current mood: depressed

Current music: +.+ AdDiCteD ~ EnRiQuE InGlAsIuS (sp) +.+

3:08PM

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories
  *Justin Eric Osborne*
    02-11-85 - 03-15-06
I think back to the day i first met you ... down at the Methodist Church playing basketball with Mark. I thought you were the cutest thing for a long
time and i grew to have one of many crushes on you. You always made me smile when i saw you. Growing up and growing to love "pee-wee" has
been a highlight of my life. You were such a sweet boy, then an admireable man. I always knew that you were coming by house when i heard that
sound of your truck... mom used to say all the time... here comes Pee-Wee in that loud weedeater... (gah* i would do anything to hear that sound
right now) ... Kelly and I were just talking the other day about how she finally talked you into going to prom with her and how we should take pictures
of us together... and we laughed about it .... Justin Eric Osborne.... Rest in peace ... and I'll see you on the other side.... ((I'll remember to bring you 
tea and lemons))
-I love you Pee-Wee*

Current mood: shocked

Current music: Words... just can't say it ....

9:21AM

MY LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW....

Gah* i can't wait to Graduate and get the heck outta that place......

11:17PM

I *love* my new best friend ... Leah* ... we have so much fun together*

and not mention ... Wendell and Dave ... lordy* ... gosho me and leah are so in love* haha...

3 more days til Crowning**

2:23PM

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE ..... *him*....



HOMECOMING is next week ... and i can't wait!! ... yay* oh yeah... i'm up for Queen which just makes my life so much better!! ...

Well im GoNe*

9:41AM - ¤ A Look Back at 2005 ¤

Hey* well i wanted to update this journal just in case *he* was to read this ... i doubt he does though so i'm probably just wasting my time.... My Christmas was pretty good this year ... i of course got to see all my Wild-n-Crazy family and got some really good gifts from everybody! I think im about $250 richer than i was on Saturday ... hehe* its good gettin money from people... *hehe* (( i still gotta get Shawn and Sarah something ....))

I was just thinking about how this year has changed my life so deeply. Here's a little recap of my whole year .....

*January* ~ wasn't with anybody... still cared about Cory and was looking forward to Prom coming around ... This was about the time that me and Kim really started getting closer than we used to be ... I started the year off with a bang~ literally ...
*February*~ spent Valentines Day with Brandon and all of them... me and Tammy and a couple of friends went to the movies... saw 50 First Dates... this was when me and Chris and Ashley and Mikey stole the salt and pepper shakers from Wendy's ... how funny! ... lordy we had ourselves a *wild* time....
*March* ... my grandfather turned 61... he had to have open heart surgery on March 6th ...
*April* ... Steph finally became a teenager ... god* i remember turning 13 ... couldn't wait to 16 then 18 then 21 .... watching my lil sister grow up has truely been amazing ... she is one of the best things in my life and i love her so much.  Prom came and went.. i partied with B, TImmy, Bob, Mikey, and umm... a couple others ....
*May* ... Realized that Brittany and Melissa were about to graduate ... we had the best times together .... ((i miss these girls)) ... We won the Cumberland District in Softball ... beat St. Paul 2-1 and oh it was GLORIOUS* ...  .... met *JOSH* on May 28th ....
*June* ... well we got out of school on the 10th ...Jesse got married on the 11th ... i had my life-changing car accident on the 12th .... ((had the best night ever)) ... then on the 21st ... i get the message and the phone call that Jesse was gone.... (( love you )) .... the 25th went to Roanoke just to get away .... met my lil girl Lexie ... and that crazy Jarred! ...
*JULY* ... *BEST MONTH OF ALL* .... 4th ~ spent all day and half the night with Brandon Summey and all his family ... we all hung out at Charlottes... had the greatest time* ... on the 6th ~ went to Lebanon to watch Steph play in that softball tournament ... looked like CRAP but i got to see my boys COTY and SHANE ... hehe* ... me and coty started talking* ... 17th~ he finally calls me ... hehe* .... (( i grow more and more in love with him))
*August* ... 2nd ~ me and Coty were officially a couple* ...hehe* ... 16th ~ My SENIOR year started... me and Coty started fighting and fighting ... seemed like that was all we did* ... 18th~ broke up .... 27th~ i turned 17!!!
*September* - me and Coty kept trying to fix things but it just fell apart ... not much happened in Sept. reallY*
*October* .... hmm... don't remember much about it either*
*November* ... finally called up JOsh and we started talking again ... things with me and COty were worse than ever ... (( miss him so much))
*December* ... got into a lil trouble with Derek* hehe* ... i'll never forget this as long as i live ... the 9th ~ *he* surprised me ... we had ourselves a great night* ... things fell apart with me and him too * ... had a great christmas ... GOING TO HAVE ONE HELL OF A NEW YEAR'S !!!

*MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION*:
.:. I am going to take each day ... day by day ... I'm not going to make promises that i can't keep... I'm not going to DATE OR TALK OR BE FRIENDS WITH GUYS FROM WISE (well NORTON) ... I'm not going to "have another night like Dec. 9th" .... I'm going to graduate with at least a 90 G.P.A. ... and I'm going to go to college at UVA-WISE ... I'm going to not regret the things i do .... I'm not going to be pressured into doing stuff ne more ... I'm not going to give in to so much either. ... i could probably add to this* give me a couple of months*

-Jeanna Hope*

Current mood: accomplished

Current music: .:. Sugarland ~ Just Might Make Me believe*

12:00PM

¤ ~ don't u just love this time of the year... i mean you go shopping like everyday ...((i have been shopping somewhere EVERYDAY since last Saturday)) ... You fight people for parking spaces and yet you still end up looking for a place to park for an average of 30 minutes... You can't turn around in a store without bumping into somebody and they give you this look like "HEY I'm standing here..." ... it's Christmas time so i mean you of course are going to find hell of sales... except at American Eagle ((and that's where you end up paying bout $140 for one person just so they feel like "oh she cared")) .... and to cap everything off ... you get to see relatives that just bug the hell out of you .... *gosh* don't you just love this time of year!!

¤~ My break has actually kicked a little butt... i've worked ... i've partied... i've gotten stuck in a mudhole in a $53,000 truck... i've stayed out til 6 in the morning... i've saw my best* in the whole world Shawn... i've been shopping*... i've spent too much money... i've well... I've had F-U-N!!!

¤~ I can't wait til tomorrow... i'm going up to my granny's i think to just kind of chill out and to see "all those relatives" .... i'm hoping that it's a quick thing so i can come home and maybe go see a certain somebody* .. hehe* ... "

¤~ well guys... i'mma jump off here and clean up my room a lil bit....

¤~ *Jeanna Hope* ~¤

Current mood: awake

Current music: .:. While You Were Cheating ~ Sara Evans .:.

2:03PM - .:. HOW DO YOU ACT LIKE THIS?? .:.

how do you act like i mean nothing to you?

how do you say things like "oh we're just friends" and we had sex friday night?

-You hurt me worse than Coty ever ... probably becuz i never thought you would be the one that would do me like you have ...

*YOU* know who you are...

5:43PM - .:. FOR YOU (JOSH) .:.

The things I HATE about us:

*Jeanna Hope*
     

5:53PM - .:. To Those Friends That We've Lost .:.

I heard this song the other day coming home from school.
  

 Who You'd Be Today by: Kenny Chesney
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.

Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy.

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.

Today, today, today
Today, today, today.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again some day
Someday, someday...

This is for those friends... that we lost this past year.

10:06PM - :...GaH* ...:

*I LoVe YoU CoTy*

I called Coty a lil bit ago and well....we talked and now things are better... I even got an "im sorry" out of him this time! .... shew... just when i think i "am so mad at him that i never wanna talk to him ever again" ...i call him and he makes it all worth it again* .... *I LOVE YOU BABY*

:...Jeanna Hope #00 ....:

Current mood: giddy

Current music: .:. The Game .:. UT- 7 ... LSU- 21 ... 3:08 left in 3rd ....

7:05PM - .:. I NeeD YouR LovE To HolD Me Up .:.

...: Hey, shew this day has killed me! We had our Senior trip to SVCC today... and it had to rain all day so we all ended up soaked as we toured the campus. I was so freaking mad! We had an ok day i guess up there... the only thing that really sucked was that we had to listen to like so many freaking guest speakers and my god... that was the most horrible thing in the world! ..... we left there around 1:45 so we went to Micky D's in Lebanon to eat... Half of us weren't done so we ended up eating on the bus... me*elicia*Raymond* and kane* played Bull and Poker on the bus on the way back to the school. Raymond got a little touchy touchy.... i was like "dude... this aint' kewl"... *boys i swear*... We got back to the school at like 5 min til time for the bell so i showed my vocab for Chapter 3 in Biology 2 to Mrs. Jesse (Christy)... and then walked into the library to talk to Mamaw.... shew... then the 2nd bell rang and well i walked down the hall with Coty to talk to him... today ... uhh... he was the biggest asswhole in the world! I hung a piece of tape in his locker that said "I love you" on it and for some reason he wanted to take it off there so i just grabbed it and well next thing i know... BAM! ... He busted my lip and cracked my head with his Locker door.... i bout cried... he didn't even apologize!! I was like "well... thanks"!

I swear... i don't understand Coty... he was such a sweetheart Saturday night and today well... he was the opposite! i was like what did i do to you that you act like you do...... i just wish i could move on and forget about his stupid ass! i mean why do i go through this... wait...i can answer that myself... it's for the pedastool he puts me on when he's a sweet heart... getting hurt is worth it just to be on that high for like a whole 5 minutes.... *G.D*

-well im off here to talk to Shannon* and probably gonna call Coty* in a few......

-Leave em* if ya wanna*

...: Jeanna Hope :...

Current mood: Crushed

Current music: -* Landing in London - 3 Doors Down *-

9:25PM - .:. My WeEkEnD .:.

I thought about using this journal now cause well i haven't put any entries in this one and i can just kinda ramble on bout my life in my last year of high school! ... LAME... yeah... but hey...it could be something i can look back on in twenty years and think... God what a dork!! So for the update:

This weekend has been a quickie... Friday~ Chad, me, Elicia, and Shawn went to the ballgame at Rye Cove... We lost like 43-0 or something like that... It was the worst game i think Castlewood has ever played in since well... i became a Cwood Devil... It was soooo bad! ... We got tired of losing so we dicided that we were going to leave during the 4th quarter... so we headed home....I got home around 10:30...waited on mom to get home... then talked to mom for a bit .... headed on to bed.... Saturday~ I got up around 8:30 and just kinda laid in bed til 9 then got ready for work... shew... I had to work from 10-1 then leave work and go home and change  be at the school to work concessions from 2-5 then go back to work from 5:15-8 .... i was dead!! ... Me, Ashley, and Corey (davis) had so much fun... well me and Corey did ne ways... he is so funny! I never really had talked to him until Saturday and well he's just a sweet heart!.... Mom picked us all up at like 5 and we took Ashley and Corey home... then i went to work... then came home and talked to Shannon* Amanda* and Coty* on ICQ for a while... Coty was supposed to have went with me to that Volleyball Tournament but well... he slept til 2.... i was mad! But boy did he make up for it... he talked to me until like 12 then he told me to call him... well i did and he didn't answer so i figured he would call me back... well *HE DID* at like 12:40.... gah* i love him to death*... he's such well... he can be a sweetheart! .... i feel asleep at like One something... *TODAY*~ got up at like 9:15 ... called Poppy to see if he would pick me up for church cause mom cancelled on me at the last minute... and to beat it all Coty was supposed to go with me and well.. ya know how it goes when we make plans... they never happen* ... i hate this*.... ne ways.. so i went to church til like 2 then Granny told me that i could take her car to my house if i wanted to leave and so i did...then me and mom headed out Wise to the new Wal-Mart and i got my 3 Doors Down cd and then we went to Dean's and then to eat ... I am so tired... Well... it's almost 10 and i gotta study for a government test and hit the bed! .... *Night*

.:Jeanna Hope:.

*Heather* - I am so proud of u! I love ya doll!

Current mood: sleepy

Current music: .:. HeRe By Me .:. 3DoorsDown .:.